So - now I'm working flat out. And it's tiring - and stressful - and just so hard leaving the kids.
Martha's just had a complete meltdown.
"I don't want you to go to work, Mummy. I want you to take me to school every day."
She sobbed for half an hour this evening curled onto my lap like a little baby. I think she felt like one at that point.
I feel pretty low at the moment. If we didn't need the money I wouldn't be doing it - not when the kids are still so small. We've been through a lot - the kids have been through loads in their short lives, nearly losing their mum before they'd even started school. I know most women have to work.... I know it's nothing so monumental. But for our family just at the moment, the dramatic change feels pretty monumental. Not much I can do though really if we're to continue paying that blasted mortgage!
Any advice out there for me???
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