Kate's Blog

Follow me if you will as I try to navigate through the ups and downs of my world.

I'm writing this blog to help me make sense of all that has happened - from my diagnosis with non-Hodgkins lymphoma while pregnant with my third child in May 2008
, through to my reflections on chaotic family life as I try to pick up the pieces of my life again.

The kids are so small, and I'm working hard to keep us all safe and to stay in remission.

Stay with me - it won't be all doom and gloom I promise!

Thursday, 2 February 2012

I'm trying not to moan but...

I feel so exhausted - all the time.

I'm working flat out - it's a busy time of year in the teaching world: lots of pressure to achieve those exam results and hit targets.

And at home, things keep rolling on - the kids need clean uniform, packed lunches, (not to mention attention and love) and I just feel pulled in all directions. Somewhere,in another life I'm wanting to write, read and sleep if at all possible. Maybe even go to the gym once in a while.

I'm working every evening, after the kids are in bed, on marking and preparation before I tidy the kitchen, make the lunches for the next day and fall into bed so tired that I never seem to have enough sleep before the alarm clock goes off at 5.55am. I leave for work at 7.10 in the morning - still dark and cold and horrible.

Things feel a bit joyless I suppose. I suppose it's the time of year, partly at least. But it's other things too. Our financial situation is not great - I can't even comfort myself with retail therapy. And that on-going worry about making ends meet is a bit of a grind. I'm considering trying to find a weekend job, but quite honestly I'm too tired to contemplate it. Rog works full time and late into the night, every night - there's no space and time anywhere, or that's what it feels.

I need to write that novel... I need that fabulous money-making scheme which I can do from home so I don't need to pay for any childcare. Any ideas? (Ha ha!!)


DaniBP said...

It is a joyless time of year. I find the planning and the finance stuff particularly crushing. Sometimes we just have to do what we can do and not fixate too much on the bottom line of bank statements and other dreadful things. I think we should do our best and forget the rest.
The lunches nearly did me in when my kids were younger, nearly lost it just on that alone, final straw!
Things get easier as the kids get older but in the meantime I hope you can get lots of rest, maybe stay in bed on the weekend, I know easier said than done!
My best to you xo.

Anonymous said...

Very familiar with your predicament. I 'jumped' off the treadmill, less money (but lower childcare costs) & life is so much better. Could you do supply teaching? Less security, but good pay and significantly less paperwork! Or work for an examination board? Ofsted inspector (eek!), Transcriptionist? Family & health come first. You'll find the right path, I know. Have faith!
M. x

Anonymous said...

private tuition? you can charge £30 - £40 per hour....

Rebecca S. said...

I keep having to restrain myself from leaping onto the 'treadmill'. It is so tempting to panic about money, but I figure as long as we have food and shelter, can pay for the kids activities and running shoes for me...it's as much as I should expect. I do on-call supply work and I like working, but I like the times in between when I can catch up on the house, my rest, and my reading. My husband's job seems to require both of us because it is so demanding and he needs me to be here for him when he gets home. If I were to work more than I do I believe that would just be too stressful. More stressful than being poor. It's always such a balance. Best of luck...the rain certainly doesn't help matters.

Eve said...


You are an amazing lady, honestly, you have my utmost respect and admiration. No wonder you are tired, I feel tired just reading your blog!!!!

Listen to your body, and try and build in a wee treat, no matter how simple, for yourself. Even a wee bar of a nice soap, like L'Occitane, light some wee tealights, put on a CD, run a bath, pour a glass of wine and lock the door!!!!!

The other ladies have left good constructive comments, maybe supply teaching or working for some of the exam boards would be worth considering.

Take care.

Tracey said...


All I can say is, hang in there. It sounds rotten right now. And the time of year does not help.