Hello

I'm tired at the moment. I have a clinic appointment on Wednesday. It's just a check-up but I'm kind of dreading it. I've been having loads of headaches and have itchy patches on my arms and legs which can be a symptom of something nasty.

I'm just so fed up with it all. Worrying is exhausting. Living in this way is exhausting - sometimes I still can't believe it's happened to me. I feel like a different person. And I was quite happy with the person I was before this.

As usual life is busy. Martha had her summer school concert this afternoon. She had a third hearing test this morning which she failed - next step, the hospital. And both Ed and Martha had swimming. Hattie ran crazily around the cafe while we watched them through the window until I felt quite frantic. Hattie doesn't stop talking by the way. Ever. And then we came home to tea - well the kids lolled around while I made it. Then bath, pyjamas and Ed's weekly treatment which always seems to come at exactly the most tiring and stressful moment. He has a bleed in the muscle of his arm and he's black and blue - hs legs look quite shocking, as I noticed while he was swimming. I haven't actually told the swimming teacher about the haemophilia as I'm always there at the pool with him, but I wonder if maybe I should. Otherwse I might get a call from social services. Can you imagine? Nightmare.

With posts like this it's just as well they've been thin on the ground recently. I know, I know..... I should count my blessings. It's easier said than done sometimes That's all.