Finally Free From Freedom....

Ok, so finally I've finished 'Freedom' by Jonathan Franzen. And in the end I liked it. It's a very impressive book, a very intellectual book - still charmless in some ways though. I found it very hard to feel close to the characters although I was interested in them from start to finish. I think it's a very male book - I wonder if that is where the sense of distance lies, and I don't mean that in a frivolous way.

But imagine writing a book like that. Incredible.

I'm sending my book off to some agents tommorrow - fingers crossed.

Blackberrys and Freedom

How can upgrading your phone (to a Blackberry - whoo whoo) be so incredibly difficult? I've spent a very frustrating morning - yes MORNING! - conversing with Vodafone. I did take Hattie to the park to feed the ducks when it all got too much.

I've got my writing class tonight, so I must go to prepare the tea for later. Will the babysitter manage to give the kids tea when I walk out of the door at 4.45? I hope so.....

And now, although I have LOTS to do, Hattie's asleep and I think I'll make a cup of tea and read Jonathan Franzen's "Freedom". I've been reading it since Christmas at about the rate of a bloody page a night, just as I'm dropping off. It's a very frustrating way to read indeed. Actually, despite the rave reviews I'm not sure how much I'm enjoying it. While it certainly doesn't help any book to be read so slowly, I am finding it a rather charmless read. Considering I love reading like nothing else and considering I have so little time to do it, it's frustrating to read a book which doesn't delight. On the other hand I'm three quarters of the way through it - stopping now would be frustrating too. Has anyone else read it? What did you think of it?

Sunday

I'm waiting for my chicken with green olives to cook. And while I do - blocking out the shrieks from the children fighting in the other room - I'm sitting down for the first time today.

Up early, having had Ed coming in and out of our room through the night telling us he couldn't sleep; the pouring rain punctuating my early morning sleep. To the park DESPITE the pouring rain to imbibe a little fresh air. And then back home. To the supermarket for a quick shop and then home in time put on a loaf of bread to cook in trusty breadmaker and to make promised biscuits with Martha in honour of our friend coming for the afternoon.

Said biscuits made and quickly consumed through the afternoon mostly by Ed, while my friend and I attempted to catch up through the cacophony of Ed, Martha and Hattie 'playing' (read 'showing off').

Friend leaves for the peace of her house and I start to make chicken and green olive casserole (yum I hope). I stack the dishwasher, get lovely loaf out of the bread machine and peel the potatoes for mash.

It's not even half past five yet. I'm exhausted and there's still the delightful bedtime routine and the ironing of the shirts and uniform. What the hell happened to lazily reading the Sunday papers and actually having a REST? Having kids happened - that's what.

Acupuncture Ahead

Today I had acupuncture in my lower back and legs to try to relieve the awful nerve pains I have down my legs at night. It's been going on for the past couple of years, is getting worse and is really starting to disturb my sleep. I have a suspicion that this is a legacy of the chemotherapy - but whatever it is, I need to sort it unless I am going to spend my whole time taking painkillers.

The acupuncture was strangely relaxing (once I'd got over having to remove my jeans in front of the handsome, young physiotherapist). In fact I didn't really get over that but I just blocked out the vision I had of myself lying prone on my stomach with pins sticking out of me. I talked quite a lot.... possibly in an attempt to distract him. But I do have tremendous faith in acupuncture - I've had it before - so fingers crossed.

It's disappointing being (nearly) 42 and not in supermodel shape. Still - I haven't forgotten my pilates resolution, so I'm sure a hot bod is just around the corner.

And I wrote the first draft of my children's picture book yesterday. I'm pleased with it but I WISH I could draw. I can exactly see how I want the pictures to be, but I can't draw them. GRRRR!

Newest Venture

Now I'm trying to write a children's book... and although I think I've got a good idea, it's very difficult indeed. Every word counts and all that.

I'm also about to start another writing course at the university - this one taught by Jackie Kay, whose writing I LOVE. The problem is that I shall feel a little intimidated. Although it's so blimming hard to get out of the door at 5pm on a Thursday evening - complicated arrangements involving our babysitter doing tea and even bed with the children, which is a step forward from her usual come in and watch tv when kids are already in bed gig! - that I think that I'll be too fraught to be intimidated. Phew -that was a long sentence. Maybe I should make them shorter for Jackie Kay!

I do hope something helps to make our fortune soon - budgeting is tiring and dispiriting I find.

Tigers

This evening Hattie came roaring into the kitchen.
"I'm being a tiger", she announced.
"How scary!" I said.
"Well, I'm just pretendering Mummy", she said.
Lucky she told me.

Damn

Damn - I was being so good. And now I've just eaten a (big) ciabatta with goat's cheese and tomato and am just about to finish the last of the Christmas stollen with my cup of tea. I've been rushing around all morning having had only half a cup of coffee at 7am this morning. I know, I know.... I should eat breakfast. That might prevent me feeling ravenous by lunchtime.

The gym must be resumed without delay.