Kate's Blog

Follow me if you will as I try to navigate through the ups and downs of my world.

I'm writing this blog to help me make sense of all that has happened - from my diagnosis with non-Hodgkins lymphoma while pregnant with my third child in May 2008
, through to my reflections on chaotic family life as I try to pick up the pieces of my life again.

The kids are so small, and I'm working hard to keep us all safe and to stay in remission.

Stay with me - it won't be all doom and gloom I promise!

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Meditation in Newcastle, Chill-out in Rajasthan

Ahem! Just clearing my throat really. I'm still here though.

I'm feeling so overwhelmed at the moment that I'm struggling to find time for the blog.

I've started meditiation classes on a Tuesday night - which seem amazing and interesting, but everytime I close my eyes and start to try to 'follow the inspiration' I fall asleep. It was the first session on Tuesday. I was sitting on a hard chair, in a cold, draughty room, in a strange and unsettling part of town, with a group of people I'd only met that evening. And I fell asleep. Honestly, I despair. I'm not sure you can sleep 'mindfully', which is what I suggested to the teacher when I woke up. I was bloody dreaming for god's sake! She was non-comittal.

I'm prescribing myself some early nights and stress-free days - ha ha. Otherwise I may as well just go to bed on Tuesday so I can sleep in more comfortable surroundings.

Stuff with the kids just seems to take over. I can't find time to read, write, exercise or sleep properly.

Thanks, by the way, for everyone's lovely and supportive comments to the last couple of posts. If I was American I might say, Gee, you guys!!!! But being truly British I can only express my thanks much more formally.

I know this post doesn't really have a 'thread' exactly, unlike my other seamless offerings (threads, seamless....?...), but it's an achievement to get to the computer.

Oh... and I might be taking a trip to India with my mother at Easter. Now that's more like it! No kids - Rog says he'll have them. For 10 days??? I'm not sure I can leave them, or should leave them... but it's an 'Easter Chill-out'!!!! In Rajasthan!!! Tempting - oh so tempting. A once in a lifetime thing to celebrate being well and looking to the future. But kind of selfish. And more than kind of unselfish to look after three children on your own when you don't have to. Aargh. What do you think?


diney said...

There is no question - GO!!! You deserve it. It's also great bonding time for Dad. What an opportunity - I'm not jealous!! I'm not, not.(just a teeny weeny bit....!)

Meghan said...

um....GO TO INDIA!!!! seriously, is there even a question?!? xoxo

Tracey said...

Go to India. They are his kids too and it is only 10 days.

I had my three alone for two weeks so my husband could go on a long camping/hiking adventure with his father. Rather than think of him as being selfish, I thought of it as a lovely gift I could give him. Rog might feel the same.

Rebecca S. said...

If it feels right, and Rog is willing to hold the fort, to go to India where it is warm and bright, for a holiday with Mum, I think you should do it. The kids will be in good hands (the house will probably be a bit messy when you get home)! To be honest, I can tell by the lighthearted tone of this post that you are already feeling better with the 'idea' of a well-deserved holiday.
Speaking of meditation, have you tried yoga? It is so soothing and strengthening and you won't have a chance to fall asleep until maybe the end part. xo

Anita said...

I can relate to your statement about kid stuff taking over. As much as I love my kids, I love having time to read, write, and blog. I have to make sure I give them the attention they need...but if I had a chance to take a vacation without them, I'd be gone in a flash!

Jen said...

I think the fact that you fell asleep only proves that you did it right. You should not pass up the opportunity to go to India.

Vince said...

The kids will be fed watered dressed and cleaned. Maybe not in the order you use and maybe snot or garden muck will hang about for longer than your auto-wash. Still I suspect they will survive. If I'm a bit disapointed about anything, it's that it is your mom that is going and not himself. Afterall whatever hell you went through, his hell was not far behind.

Hugs (as they say in Belgium)