Kate's Blog

Follow me if you will as I try to navigate through the ups and downs of my world.

I'm writing this blog to help me make sense of all that has happened - from my diagnosis with non-Hodgkins lymphoma while pregnant with my third child in May 2008
, through to my reflections on chaotic family life as I try to pick up the pieces of my life again.

The kids are so small, and I'm working hard to keep us all safe and to stay in remission.

Stay with me - it won't be all doom and gloom I promise!

Monday, 12 October 2009

Some Nights

Some nights
The ticking of the clock punctuates the chaos of my thoughts,
Early hours of the morning the terrors loom large,
A black deep-bottomed lake full of snakes and mess
Panic and struggling, fighting to breathe.

Some nights I know
I would never find peace facing my death,
The children will grab at and suffocate my attempts.

Some nights
The worst could happen
The worst could happen
The worst could happen.

Some nights
The consolations offered are hollow echoes,
And I’m left twisted with anxiety
As usual.

1 comment:

Mummy mania said...

you take my breath away. you probably don't feel strong, but you are. even to be able to write this. i'll be following you and cheering you on..