Follow me if you will as I try to navigate through the ups and downs of my world.
I'm writing this blog to help me make sense of all that has happened - from my diagnosis with non-Hodgkins lymphoma while pregnant with my third child in May 2008, through to my reflections on chaotic family life as I try to pick up the pieces of my life again.
The kids are so small, and I'm working hard to keep us all safe and to stay in remission.
Stay with me - it won't be all doom and gloom I promise!
Friday, 16 October 2009
It's a beautiful autumn day today. I can smell the woodsmoke from the neighbour's woodburning stove and am excited to get ours. Even in the city, an autumn day can still lead me to think of stubble fields, hay bales and darker nights. Cliches, maybe, but not less powerful for that. I'm pleased to be alive today although I feel rotten - I want to gather my family together this evening. At the moment they're scattered at work and at school - just the baby and myself are here in the house. I'm pleased it's Friday, I'm pleased we can all be together for a couple of days without outside demands. I've had a hard week this week - my worries have been consuming at times. Next week I have my scary hospital appointment. So this weekend we're going to go to ground a bit I think. I'm planning to cook - probably not go to the gym and spend a couple of evenings with my husband who I miss through the week as we operate in our separate spheres. Yup, just sometimes I think what happened to me is teaching me to slow down and appreciate what I have in the now. Worrying is so exhausting and unproductive. Easy to say, though - and I'm clearly a slow learner in this department.
I'm a mother with three kids under eight whose demands, squabbles and general existence take up unimaginable swathes of time. I've also secretly always fancied myself as a bit of a writer - though not with much evidence to show for it - so maybe writing this will prod me in the right direction. We'll see.