Today

It's a beautiful autumn day today. I can smell the woodsmoke from the neighbour's woodburning stove and am excited to get ours. Even in the city, an autumn day can still lead me to think of stubble fields, hay bales and darker nights. Cliches, maybe, but not less powerful for that. I'm pleased to be alive today although I feel rotten - I want to gather my family together this evening. At the moment they're scattered at work and at school - just the baby and myself are here in the house. I'm pleased it's Friday, I'm pleased we can all be together for a couple of days without outside demands. I've had a hard week this week - my worries have been consuming at times. Next week I have my scary hospital appointment. So this weekend we're going to go to ground a bit I think. I'm planning to cook - probably not go to the gym and spend a couple of evenings with my husband who I miss through the week as we operate in our separate spheres. Yup, just sometimes I think what happened to me is teaching me to slow down and appreciate what I have in the now. Worrying is so exhausting and unproductive. Easy to say, though - and I'm clearly a slow learner in this department.