Kate's Blog

Follow me if you will as I try to navigate through the ups and downs of my world.

I'm writing this blog to help me make sense of all that has happened - from my diagnosis with non-Hodgkins lymphoma while pregnant with my third child in May 2008
, through to my reflections on chaotic family life as I try to pick up the pieces of my life again.


The kids are so small, and I'm working hard to keep us all safe and to stay in remission.

Stay with me - it won't be all doom and gloom I promise!



Wednesday 25 November 2009

Scared

I don't feel good today. I feel worried and anxious about how I'm feeling physically and overwhelmed at the gulf between how I feel and what I do everyday. Same old, same old - but dropping off the kids today and taking the baby to playgroup just felt wierd. I felt entirely isolated from the other parents in the playground. It's too painful to be with the baby today and realise how little she is and how far I have to go to see her grow up. I'm not even a year in remission and if it comes back I'm pretty much done for. Today I don't feel positive I just feel terrified.

6 comments:

Menopausal New Mom said...

Hi Kate, Your fear is absolutely understandable. I can not imagine how scary it must be to have that unknown factor always in the back and today, the front of your mind. My hope is that you have surrounded yourself with positive people and energy to lift your spirits.

Hugs
Deb

Mummy mania said...

oh kate, you are bound to get days like this, and please know lots of people (those you know and those you don't are sending you lots of love and positive vibes. tomorrow is another day...

Kate said...

thanks!

diney said...

I send you a huge northern cyber hug. Be strong and positive - for yourself,and for your gorgeous, gorgeous kids. xx

Anita said...

I wish I had advice, something to say that would help in a big way, but I can only offer my support and prayers. Tomorrow is another day - hope its a good one.

Josephine Tale Peddler said...

Stay strong, Kate. Of course you are going to have these moments. May your healing angels hold you tightly and keep focused on what is in front of you. A minute at a time if you have to. All my love and strength to you. xx